To You Who Had Your Heart Broken

This is for you. For you, who loved so much, who loved with all your heart. This is for you. For you, who risked everything, who gave everything even though you have nothing else left for yourself. This is for you. For you, who had your heart broken. For you, who still loves and who still hopes even with your broken heart.

There are many things I want to tell you. Things you know, but you’re having a hard time to accept.

First of all, know that you have not committed any mistake. Loving someone, no matter how painful it is, will never be a mistake. It might be depressing and crazy, but it’s not wrong. You just loved.

You are more than enough. You do not lack anything. You do not need to be smarter, stronger, sexier, better to prove that you are worthy to be loved. You are thinking that maybe, if you have changed some parts of yourself, he will love you back. No, he will never love you back. Love means acceptance and if he can’t accept you for who you are now, he will never be able to accept whoever you will become.

You are not an option. You are not number two. You are not a part of any collection. You are not a game that he will just play whenever he is bored. You are a prized possession. A diamond in the wilderness, water in the dessert. Never let anyone minimize your value.

Do not discount your feelings. It doesn’t matter whether you and the person who broke heart had a relationship before, or he was just your friend whom you liked. It doesn’t matter whether there is something between you and that person. You loved him. He did not love you back. You feel pain and that pain you are feeling now is, and will always be, valid.

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To The One I Loved The Most

To the one I loved the most,

Today, I am writing this letter. This is one of the hundreds of letters I’ll never send to you because (1) I can’t and (2) I don’t even have the right to do so. Nevertheless, I will write this letter, and I will do it not for you, but for myself. This is the only way I know I can release all of these things that I’m trying so hard to keep inside. You see, it’s very difficult to keep it all here for I fear that one day, it will all explode and destroy me. So as early as now, in this simple way that I can, I will let this all out.

It’s been a year ever since I first saw you. I admit that when I first had a glimpse of you, I was already enthralled by you and your charm. You are really one charming individual. But as soon as I noticed your somehow unusual softness, I quickly shoved away that charm of yours. I see people like you only as potential friends. Days, weeks and months went on and I was never captivated again by your irresistible allure.

However, things can really change that fast, without you wanting it, without you even realizing it. One minute, you were merely a somehow distinguished person in the campus. The next minute, I was already falling into the deep whirlpool of your eyes. I swear to heavens I felt something when you looked into my eyes. I felt something that up until now, I can’t explain and I can’t  understand. It’s as if something inside me suddenly came alive.

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To My Greatest Love

To my greatest love,

This is the very last letter that I am writing for you. I know that I have already said that, but you see, this time, it will be true. At long last, without any hesitation, with all of my heart, I can hold these words and stand true to them. Indeed, this is the last letter that I am writing for you.

What we had was unforgettable, insurmountable, and irreplaceable, not because it was a garden full of butterflies, but because it was hell and heaven combined. I will always remember you, not because you touched me, kissed me, or loved me, but because you never did. I gave you all of me, every inch and piece of me, but you took a grip of what I handed, then trampled it, sending it down to the path of unrequited feelings.

But, I could not blame you. I will never blame you. You, not being able to love me, was not your fault. It is mine. It would always be mine. It was I that, despite all the absurdity and impossibility, still believed that we could happen, that we have a chance. I was not blind, or stupid, but I allowed myself to be those things if only they could lead me closer to you.

I don’t think that you can actually fathom how much I loved you. I loved you much more than my heart can. I loved you with all that I am, and sometimes, with all that I am not. I loved you with so much fervor and intensity, that it scared even myself. I loved you not to the moon and back, but to the entire universe. I loved you with all my broken and messed up parts. I loved you even when I can’t, especially when I can’t.

And though you never returned even a little portion of that love, I will still be grateful to you.

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Ikaw ay Isang Pokémon

Isipin mo na ikaw ay isa sa tatlong starter Pokémon sa laro. Meron kang sarili mong features. Pwede kang maging mas magaling sa isa. Pwede kang maging mas mahina sa isa. At wala kang magagawa tungkol dito dahil pareho kang magaling at hindi.

Sa simula, may darating na isang taong mamimili sa inyong tatlo. Pipiliin niya kung alin ang nararapat sa kanya na samahan siya sa simula ng kanyang buhay bilang isang malayang tao. Siyempre, hindi magiging masaya ang Pokémon, kung wala kang sariling Pokémon.

Pag-iisipan niya kung sino ang isasama niya. Pwedeng ikaw. Pwedeng hindi. Sabihin na natin na ikaw ang pinili niya sa pagkakataong iyon. Ikaw ang pinili niya noong panahong iyon dahil nakita niya sa iyo kung ano ang maaari niyang marating kapag ikaw ang sinama niya. Mahina ka man sa paningin ng iba, naniniwala naman siya sa kakayahan mo.

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Bakit Tayo Iniiwan

Bakit nga ba tayo iniiwan ng mga taong mahal natin?

Ang mga taong minamahal natin ay parang isang bola. Kapag ibinato mo, maaaring bumalik sa’yo; depende sa kung saan siya gawa, sa kung saan mo siya binato, o sa kung paano mo siya ibato. Kung ang hawak mo ay isang bowling ball, at binato mo siya palayo, natural hindi ‘yan tatalbog pabalik sa’yo. Kung ihinagis mo naman siya pataas, maaaring masaktan ka pa kung babalik siya; bahala ka na kung makukuha mo pa. May ibang bola naman na kailangan mo pang ipabato sa iba para lang makuha mo ulit. Pero merong mga tao na hindi na ibabalik ang bola mo at aangkinin na lang sila. Kung ibinalik naman, maaaring hindi mo siya masalo at matamaan ka pa, nasaktan ka pa sa katangahan mo. #ParangLove

May ibang tao na kailangan nilang umalis sa piling mo for some reason. Baka panget ka o di kaya eh ayaw nila sa ugali mo o sa kinikilos mo. May mga tao naman na may gustong iba, maraming pang iba, o gusto lang mapag-isa for the mean time dahil hinahanap pa niya ang sarili niya. May iba rin naman na nahihiyang ligawan ka kasi torpe siya, akala niya irereject mo siya, may jowa ka, may jowa siya, strict ang parents niya, o dahil wala siyang time para sa’yo. Oo. Wala siyang time sa’yo. ‘Yun ang main reason.

I’ll share you 5 things I have learned from my experience when I was still in high school, ang panahon kung kailan uso na ang mga pseudo-relationships (aka MU), hook-ups, lokohan, bilyaran, buntisan, and everything. Maiisip mong medyo cliché na ang mga sasabihin ko pero ‘di niyo ba maiisip na nakaka-relate talaga ‘to sa buhay niyo?

Bakit Tayo Iniiwan?

1. Nagsasawa na siya sa’yo – What makes a relationship last? Continue reading

Hindi Ako Maka-Move On Sa’yo

Hindi ako maka-move on sa’yo.

Ewan ko kung bakit, pero patuloy ka pa ring bumabalik sa isipan ko. Alam kong wala na ngang maibabalik, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit may bumabalik. Alam kong hindi naman ikaw iyong nakikita ko. Kaya saan tuloy nanggagaling itong nagpapakita sa isip ko?

Pilit na nga kitang kinalimutan, pero nagpaparamdam ka pa rin sa isip ko. Pinutol ko na ang lahat ng mga bagay na konektado sayo. Binura ko na ang lahat ng bagay na makapagpapaalala sa’yo. Pero, bakit ganun? Nabura ko na nga, kaso bakat pa rin naman!

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