But I have found myself in you
But you have given me a clue
From the lies
that were once my truth
Am I saved?
Or this is just the start
Of our own suffering
From being a mistake
And a conceiving erratum
Black from all whites
I am different
A complete opposite
Whose heart beats for my same kind
Asking; is it my fault?
That I long for the same color
A princess loving another princess
A girl who had sword behind her dress
I wish you knew,
I wish it was you,
I wish you could see me,
I wish we could be happy.
I wish to exist,
I wish everything, I persist,
I wish you to be near,
I wish you to hold me, dear.
I wasn’t sure if I believe in love
And then here I met you
I wasn’t sure if these feelings last
And then I fell out of the blue.
I smile when I have you close
How I wish my heart to be yours
How strange this feeling, why?
My heart suddenly stops whenever you pass by.
I know you’re just my dream
Yes, funny it may seem
A start I couldn’t reach
Music on its highest pitch.
I was once afraid of falling in love,
You said I should be brave,
I spoke what’s on my mind,
It kept repeating your name.
I saw all that I had to see,
But thy heart only seeks the picture of you and me,
I heard how vexed the sound of pain was,
But I endured it, despite all the past.
I smelled the grief within my soul,
It’s you who completes my whole,
I tasted this bitter sweet complexion of life,
For you and I to stay ignite.
You started to speak with a simple “Hello!”
While I was crying on the other side
You asked me what was wrong
You told me to be strong
My heart could not beat
My mind could not think
I look upon your eyes
You uttered, “He’s not worth a cry”
You hand me a piece of cloth
To wipe my tears, to share my thought
“Who are you?” I quickly asked
“The man that will never hurt you,” you gasp.
I was shocked, I walked away
Then astonished when I saw you on another day
You yelled, “You’re always here”
Here we go again, that’s the one thing I fear.
The sun has risen in pale blue sky,
I see the world out there, I see this guy,
I heard a melody, I heard it breathing,
I know it’s from my body, it kept repeating;
From the corner, I stood,
From afar I looked,
I saw him glance, I saw him smile,
It made me contented for a while
His humble voice,
His eyes undying,
His heart speaks,
His faith that is growing.
From that moment, I became a fan,
Awakened by the sweet voice of this man,
Talking to him will complete the missing,
But thy mind says “no”, my heart continuously kicking.
Deity, here me out.
I know your plan is unknown,
I know everything that happens has a reason
I know my life wasn’t an exemption
In this platform right where I belong
I am once in love with the world
To its untold stories soon to unfold
Delighted with the sun that sets on its horizon
Amazed on how stars shine upon
I am once, but why am I still here?
Dwelling in a place I cannot understand clear
I am hurting, Why am I now in fear?
I am bleeding, Drowning in a sky of tears
As a pained liquid fell down from my left eye
Comes my woes and sighs
Realizing how my life was being controlled
By you-a Deity they once told
Begging, please don’t let me get attached
To what’s not meant for me anymore.
Don’t let me get attached
To something that’s being torn
Don’t let me suffer as if I’m never been wounded
Don’t let me choose things I’ll soon regret
Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of.
Don’t let me fight for what I need to release and hope
Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me
Do not let me love those who will break my heart
Coz I know I get attached easily
and hold on to things tightly
So please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle
Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left.
Because I’m already tired of being a lonely moon
Tired of being the lyrics of a sad song
I’m already tired of crying
Tired of trying
A soul tired of hoping
Tired of everything
I’m already a lost soul
Please hear my tired self
Who couldn’t find its glow
A soul without a color on its own.