The Nervous System

I feel numb and tired.

I feel hopeless.

There is so much loud screams in my head every day.

And every night I have to endure terrible whispers.

I feel abandoned,

neglected and forgotten.

What do I live for?

What is my purpose?

Secretly struggling…

I don’t know who it was that has been contradicting me.

The one controlling me.

But I am tired of it all.

So so tired…

Who are you?

Why do you confuse me?

I want to think straight,

But you’ve made me fear the thought of thinking.

I’m a pushover yet a wall nobody can break.

What am I?

Who am I?

No, I’m not strong!

I’ve given up!

I walk without a destination.

I breathe without the will to live.

Everything is blank.

All I see is an empty canvas,

not a colorful world.

My life is a little bit comforting

With a mere static to console my ear.

Not even music can sing me to sleep.

Don’t look at me.

You might see how bad I look,

          how bad I feel and

how bad I can be.

I am deranged, right?

Everybody is scared to say it to my face.

It hurts to accept…

and so I never shall.

I’m lonely

and with all friends,

I do not have any.

Follow La Belinda in Poetry Amino for more dark poetry.


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