To You Who Had Your Heart Broken

This is for you. For you, who loved so much, who loved with all your heart. This is for you. For you, who risked everything, who gave everything even though you have nothing else left for yourself. This is for you. For you, who had your heart broken. For you, who still loves and who still hopes even with your broken heart.

There are many things I want to tell you. Things you know, but you’re having a hard time to accept.

First of all, know that you have not committed any mistake. Loving someone, no matter how painful it is, will never be a mistake. It might be depressing and crazy, but it’s not wrong. You just loved.

You are more than enough. You do not lack anything. You do not need to be smarter, stronger, sexier, better to prove that you are worthy to be loved. You are thinking that maybe, if you have changed some parts of yourself, he will love you back. No, he will never love you back. Love means acceptance and if he can’t accept you for who you are now, he will never be able to accept whoever you will become.

You are not an option. You are not number two. You are not a part of any collection. You are not a game that he will just play whenever he is bored. You are a prized possession. A diamond in the wilderness, water in the dessert. Never let anyone minimize your value.

Do not discount your feelings. It doesn’t matter whether you and the person who broke heart had a relationship before, or he was just your friend whom you liked. It doesn’t matter whether there is something between you and that person. You loved him. He did not love you back. You feel pain and that pain you are feeling now is, and will always be, valid.

Stop looking for someone else. Your heart is now broken, and you don’t know what to do. The only way you can think of, to somehow minimize this brokenness that you’re feeling is to look for someone else, someone who can make you forget that person who tore your heart into pieces. But trust me, you will never be able to find that someone now for you know, deep down inside that, at the end of the day, the person who hurt you, will still be the one you’ll be thinking of. Don’t hurt yourself further and don’t pass your pain to anyone else.

Forgive. Forgive the person who broke your heart for breaking your heart. Forgive him for his weaknesses and flaws. Forgive him for his being human. And after that, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the times you hated and blamed your heart for loving someone who will not love you back. Forgive yourself for putting down your pride and dignity. Forgive yourself for risking and giving it all, even at times when you have nothing left to risk and to give. Forgive yourself for being human.

Learn the value of acceptance. Know that there are some things that are just not meant for you.

Take your time in letting yourself heal. There will be no shortcuts in mending a broken heart. It might take months or years, but one day, your heart will be whole again.

Most importantly, know that you are in charge of your own life. No one can tell you what you should and should not do. This is your heart, and no one else’s. It is in your power to let it be broken again or to make it whole once more.

July 14, 2015

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