I’m back to the place I hate the most. I’m back to the place where I don’t want to spend the whole day with you. But I still chose to come with you and never leave your side. Because that is how much I love you.
I could still feel the cold air rushing towards my face. The same breeze that I felt when I shook my head after you took my hand and told me to come. I could still see your gentle smile with your teeth as white as snow. But for every single minute that you are holding my hand, I felt cold. You were sucking the warmth I had in my heart, killing me until I drop down to zero. Aren’t my embraces warm enough to protect you from the blizzard? What have I done to make you feel this way? Why is your heart much colder than this room?
We slip. We slide. But our hearts keeps on falling down as well. Why had our love left us? Feeling cold and alone even when you are by my side. I wonder how you dare to even smile, even though you’re hurt; even when I’m hurt.
Speak to me, my love. Can’t you hear me from this silence? I’m already yelling right in your ear. But you chose to shut your mouth, close your eyes, and drop a tear. Have I shattered your heart as cold as ice? Have I shattered your memories as hazy as snow?
Tell me, my love. Are you letting me go? Are you letting the butterflies go and make them live on winter snow?
Go ahead, stab me with an icicle. I’ll wait for you to kill me. Haven’t the frostbite killed me yet? Maybe I should lay here above the snow and wait for the pack of wolves to hunt me down. Maybe you should watch my flesh be torn to bones.
My head filled with questions with answers frozen in time. Answers that will never thaw. Worthless once like melted snow. Let these memories be filled in a glass. Seal it. Freeze it. Make it sink below. Memories that should never rise. Memories that melt like ice.
I went back to the corner where I left you. I could still see ourselves doing the same old trick. Skating across the ice skating rink. In my imaginations, you were there. But in anywhere in my heart, you can never be found.