As If Everything Never Happened…

I once had a boyfriend. Medyo matagal na rin ‘yun. Ah, basta. Dati kasi, nakatira ako sa isang apartment away from my family kasi medyo malayo ‘yung school ko sa bahay namin. ‘Dun ako nakatira sa fourth floor ng apartment na iyon. One day, binilhan ako ng mom ko ng groceries at andami nun. Hindi ko naman sila mabubuhat lahat papunta sa floor ko ‘tapos mabibigat pa ‘yung iba. Napansin ako ng isang guy. Tutulungan na lang daw niya ako. Natuwa naman ako. Magkatabi lang pala kami ng unit sa apartment. At nung natapos na ‘yung pagbubuhat ng gamit, ininvite ko muna siya sa unit ko. Nagmeryenda muna kami at nagpakilala sa isa’t isa.

Taga-ibang school siya. Medyo mas matanda sa ‘kin ng 4 years. May lahi siyang British. Para siyang dream guy ko na lagi kong nababasa sa mga libro lalo na ‘yung mga libro ni Nicholas Sparks. Ang gwapo niya. Chos. Minsan nga eh sinasama niya ako ‘pag bumibili rin siya ng groceries, vice versa. We also have movie marathons sa unit niya kasi napakadami niyang DVD at ang laki pa ng TV niya! ‘Dun na nga rin ako natutulog minsan eh. Nung minsan ngang na-lock ako sa labas ng unit ko kasi naiwan ko ‘yung susi sa loob, pinatulog niya muna ako sa unit niya. Kinabukasan, inayos niya ‘yung lock sa pinto ko. Buti na lang weekend ‘nun.

Weekend nga ‘yung araw na naging kami. He took me around Ayala ‘tas kumain kami sa North Park. Sinabi ko kasi sa kanya na favourite food ko is Chinese food, so maybe that’s why he took me there. Kain muna ng kaunti ‘tas nag-usap ‘tas, ayun na, moment of silence bago muna bago niya ako tanungin kung pwede maging kami. Napangiti ako sabay tango. Ngumiti rin siya nun sabay sipsip sa iced tea niya na paubos na. Hawak kamay na kaming umuwi.

Nagtagal rin kami, syempre. Tinutulungan niya nga ako gumawa ng project minsan kahit madali lang. ‘Di naman ako bobo eh. Isa nga ako sa mga top students sa school namin eh. I just like it when he’s there, helping me. But that didn’t last long. Mayroong times na lagi siyang umaalis ‘tapos ‘di niya sinasabi sa ‘kin kung bakit. Gabi-gabi na ‘yun. Inuumaga nga siya ng uwi eh. Iniisip ko tuloy na baka nakakuha na siya ng trabaho kasi handa na niya akong buhayin. Wow. Hindi pala.

One day, when we were buying groceries, I invited him to have lunch with me. Napansin ko na lagi siyang busy sa phone niya na parang laging may million Peso call na darating na kung hindi niya sasagutin ay mawawalan siya ng chance manalo.
“Hey, babe,” sabi ko.
“Yeah?” you sighed.
“You gonna eat your phone.”
“What?”
“Well, you’ve been at it since the last hour, and the food has already arrived minutes ago.”
“Huh. Must be all the work and stress.”
“Hmm… ok…”
That was the day I started to grow suspicious. Who was on that phone?
“Hey babe, I’m going out for a walk,” you made an excuse one day.
“Well, that’s a first,” kasi hindi ka naman laging lumalabas nang mag-isa.
“I’ll be back later.”
Then later became soon; then soon became tomorrow; then tomorrow became next week.
“Babe, I’m out with my buddies,” you said.
“Again, well you and the guys have been at it since last week,” nagtaka ako.
“Yeah, yeah…out.”
For the fifth time he was out that week… and well my instincts were going viral, and I continued to ignore it still, foolish heart.

The day after, I was returning after school, I unlocked the door to my unit…
“Hurry up, before she gets back!” I heard your voice.
“I’m trying, how do you get this damn dress off?!” said by another girl.
“I’ll do it.”
“Grab a pack of those condoms while you’re at it.”
Then I butted in, of course, I didn’t make any reaction, that would have been pathetic and weak.
“Yeah and make sure you give back my keys when you’re done or else there would be very severe consequences!”
Hanging out with your friends pala ah. Eh sino ‘yang kalaguyo mo sa kwarto ko?!

Naluha na lang ako at umalis saglit. ‘Di ko na sila inistorbo. They’rre having such a good time naman, ‘di ba? Tinawagan ko mom ko and told her about this. Natawa na lang ako ‘nung pinapagalitan niya ako sa phone kasi nakipagrelasyon ako sa isang manloloko. That was the last time I saw the bastard with the conniving bitch.

‘Di nagtagal at lumipat rin ako ng apartment, malayo sa kanya. Wala siya sa unit niya ‘nung lumipat ako. What a perfect way to end this relationship. Wala na rin kaming contact sa isa’t isa. As if everything never happened…

November 4, 2013


This post originally appeared in Clover Lark’s first blogsite.

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