Outshined

Us being close to each other was very unlikely. But what you did to me has changed me entirely. I never really cared when I first met you. We weren’t even talking in some way. I don’t know who you really are. You were just another stranger disguised as a friend. Then I came to have a problem and you approached me to help. I have no idea what went on your mind that time but whatever it was, it was so kind of you.

You had always admired the couple and said that your friend and I were meant to be. When we were through, you still tried to bring us back by making her feel guilty of leaving me. Since then, you tried your best to make me happy. Although you know that I wasn’t fully healed from the heartache that she gave me, you treated me more than you treated anybody.

You opened up about love and said that you like someone. Since you gave a lot of effort on helping me, I figured that I should help you as well. I tried my best, but I couldn’t. But I had a new purpose; to be with you whenever he’s gone, and that was enough to cheer you up.

You became my best friend for you were the one left when all of them had left. There was nothing else in my world anymore but you and the memories I had with others. Though my world did not revolve around you, you were the moon that lightened up my darkest night. For the meantime, it was a full moon but I know you’ll disappear soon.

You revealed your darkest secrets and how you tried to end your life. I did not want to sound that I like you, but I said that I don’t want to lose you, not at a time when I have nobody else to lean my shoulder onto.  It was unnatural for you to talk to me first. It was not much of a big deal to me, I don’t know if it is to you.

Why are you lonely? Did he leave you alone again? You told me that I was the only person that you confess your problems to because you feel so light when you’re with me. That’s just another way of saying that you trust me.

Why not open up to him? He’s the one that you like, anyway. But he was always out and you understand why. Yet you don’t have the confidence once he is around. You asked him if he loves you and you were not sure with his answer. If he really loves you, he’ll be always there for you.

I mocked with your weaknesses and you were insensitive for you just took my insults as jokes.  But you still tried your best to endure so I won’t have to mock you anymore. You barely ate at all. And I kept on reminding you from time to time. You asked me why I kept on asking you. Since then, you lied so I won’t have to worry anymore.

I helped you accomplish a feat you have a hard time completing. And now you are here, helping me in return. I stayed up late and you surprised me with your loneliness. I sacrificed my sleep for I promised not to leave you alone until sunrise. I became the person you can throw your stones at. It didn’t hurt for your intent was to release the anger kept inside you. You carried me through times when I have to stay up and you gave all your effort just to lift me higher. This is what made you unique to my other closest friends.

But then, like the moon, your shine shall go away. You’ll stop lighting up my darkest nights and stay invisible for the rest of my life. Then you left without saying goodbye. Though I know you’re still there, all my questions just lead to nowhere. Now as I look for you up there in the night sky, I see a trillion more stars shining lighting up my world. And now I thought, maybe you leaving me was never bad at all.

May 14, 2014

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