A Hollow World

Let’s wait ’til I’m out of here.
Because I’m going to meet new people.

I’m going to have new problems.
And all of it are just going to repeat itself.

But I’ll never cease to exist.
I’ve been through all these things a lot of times.

I shall survive through the darkness.
I shall escape this world of fear inside my soul.

But still these memories kept on tearing me apart;
Dragging me to the past and haunting in my sleep.

All of pillars of the great house that I built.
Stumbled down and left me falling.

As I fall to the bottomless grave,
I hear voices in my head telling me to go.

“Go forth to land where a new you awaits!
To the land where the light shall shine from your heart!”

So I went and waited for the light to shine.
I saw some, but it wasn’t mine.

The more I wait, the more I get hurt.
The more I think, the more I disappear.

And if time won’t let me heal these wounds,
Then someone might be there waiting for her next patient.

She shall tear away the fear from me
And give her life just to save me.

But all shall be coming back.
And I want it back.

So I shall chase it and grab it.
Hold it in my arms until I become happy.

But I wasn’t happy after all.
Everything isn’t real.

I’m just living in a world of lies;
Fooled by masks that hid the traitors’ faces.

Neither walking nor running will save me from the rain.
Not even a single shade can save me from the sense of pain.

Promises aren’t meant to be broken.
It’s a huge game of trust where everyone keeps on falling.

Under the moon on the lake of my despair,
I’ve thought of things that are just aren’t fair.

You’re just being you
But you’re not the one I knew.

I’d chained myself on a tree
Where your love is the only key.

But if the key shall not work,
Then someone else might have it.

And if none shall come to save me.
Then it’s right to think that I’ll never be free.

This world wasn’t built for me to live happily.
This world was built for me to make it happy.

But then all the pieces kept vanishing.
And all of my hard work just came to nothing.

It was so close yet I screwed it all up.
Now all that I’ve worked for created nothing in the end.

The real me died a long time ago.
What you see now are just the remains of a guy who thinks he’s alive.

All of these lies have kept me alive.
All of these lies have kept me dying.

Going back from where I started won’t do a thing;
For I cannot take back the time not taken.

What happened to us is happening again.
But now I’m the one who’s watching.

What if I just left and never returned?
What if I didn’t leave so I don’t have to deal with all the pain?

But still you’ve been a part of me.
And I can never let that go.

You’ve been a wound in my body that gave me pain.
You’ve been a scar in my body that never left.

I protected you from darkness.
And now you’re lurking in it.

At the winter of my heart, you served as my warmth.
At the winter of your warmth, I served as your heart.

Don’t pick up the shards of your broken heart.
I can do it for you and even hurt myself doing it.

If I only knew it would come to this,
Then I shouldn’t have tried so hard to go deeper than this.

I can’t describe the happiness.
Hidden in the world of loneliness.

Hate me all you can.
Once I’m gone, hate is worthless.

All I can say is that you’ll always have me.
But we can never have again what we used to be.

In the end, we’re all alone.
And no one is coming to save you.

But I’ll never say goodbye.
I never will and that’s a promise.

That just proves how annoying I am.
That just proves how stupid I am.

January 30, 2014

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